What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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