I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Be still, my beating vagina.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
