yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
