She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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