DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
