Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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