I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
