Nicole vs. Life
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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