dude i'm inner monologue high
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
