No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
