Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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