normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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