Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
