do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
