If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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