i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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