pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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