Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
