i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
