so explain again why im purple
no
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
