pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
