no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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