I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
