Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I am one with the molecules
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
