Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Green mimosas i think yes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
