I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
