I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
