Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
