I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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