Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
