I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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