It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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