The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
