the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
