Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
