Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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