Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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