I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
