Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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