Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
