jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
