Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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