He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
