We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
