There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
