i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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