If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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