i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There was a lot of him and a little penis
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
