hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
