Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
