real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
