I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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