she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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