It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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