You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
